Hidden Secret

 

In Preacher’s Creek 

Secret in the Barn        S.E.Kane        May 8, 2014 

It was a story that begged the telling, but could not bear to be spoken.  Yet, seventy years after it came to pass, it was time.  It was released and so was the teller. 

 

They were old women now, the both of them, sitting at the kitchen table with coffee and pieces of apple pie.  Louise was the maker of the pie, it was her house, and it was her kitchen.  Her older sister Grace suddenly shrank into something heavy from within.  “Girl, I gotta tell you something.  Something that happened to me, and I must tell someone before I die.” 

 

Louise was stunned.  Grace was never a keeper of secrets, but this one weighed heavily upon her.  Louise leaned toward Grace, placing one old veined hand over another’s old veined hand.  Grace squeezed it and looked into Louise’s eyes, as her own eyes streamed quiet tears. 

 

“You went off with Ma to Quincy to buy new shoes, and she dropped me off at Uncle Lew’s house.  She said I could play with snotty cousin Velma while you all went off.” 

 

She paused and blew her nose into a hanky. 

 

“Well, me and Velma were playing in the barn when her three older brothers showed up.  Lyndle was holding a stick and a bread wrapper.  Velma giggled and said that we were gonna do something fun, really fun! 

 

“The brothers made me stretch out on the barn floor with Harold and Melvin holding my arms down.  Whatcha you doing?  Whatcha you doing?  I got real scared.   

 

“Lyndle grabbed my legs, spread ‘em wide apart, so Velma could kneel between ‘em.  Then Velma…” Grace gulped back tears, her voice turning ragged.  “Velma put the stick into the bag wrapper, and she told me this was gonna be real fun, ‘cause she’d seen her ma and pa do this all the time. 

 

“Velma put that stick in my woman parts.  She gave me a big grin.  Then she shoved it all the way in.  I screamed and screamed and screamed.  Aunt Lydia opened the kitchen door with a dish rag in her hand and she called out What you kids doing out there?  Come outta that barn! 

 

“The boys ran off as Velma pulled the stick out of my woman parts.  The bread wrapper was all bloody, and Velma turned white.  She said You wipe yourself off and go on home, now!  She threw a dirty rag at me, and ran to the horse trough to wash off. 

 

“I put that rag in my old bloomers and tucked it up as tight as I could.  Then I ran home.  ‘Member our old house, just down the road from Aunt Lydia’s house?  Well, I barely got there, I was so weak.  Ran up the stairs and filled the tub with water.  I soaked in it, and it turned pink.  Emptied the water, poured more water, emptied it, until the bath tub water was clean.” 

 

Louise was silent, the front of her apron wet with tears and her eyes opened wide.  OhGraceohGrace…. With hands over her mouth, Louise shook her head.  No..no..no..no… 

 

“I knew where Ma kept the pads for that time of the month and I put one on.  Took my bloody clothes out to the pump, rubbed them and rubbed them.  They would come clean.  So, took ‘em down to the creek and threw it all in the muddy water.  They rolled down the creek with the mud covering the blood. 

 

“When you and Ma come back, I told her I was bleeding, it was my time of the month for the first time.  She was happy, called me her my big girl.  I never told her, never told anyone ‘til now. 

 

“Something was tore inside, but it musta healed.  But that’s why I never had babies.  The doctor told me that the tear got infected and ruined my uterus. Ernest was just as happy, since he was a selfish son of a bitch who drank more than he did anything else. 

 

“So, that’s it.  That’s what I had ta tell you.”  Grace cleared the table, while Louise couldn’t move, couldn’t speak.  “I’ll do the dishes, you just go rest now.  You look darn tired.”  She paused and looked out the kitchen window.  “Looks like we got a storm coming.  Want me to bring in the laundry?”  And without waiting for an answer, Grace picked up the clothesbasket, going outside to bring in the underwear.